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Home Entertainment & Pop Culture

“Osiris” Review: Guns, Grit, and Goofy Aliens in a No-Frills Sci-Fi Shootout

Kalhan by Kalhan
August 2, 2025
in Entertainment & Pop Culture, Film & TV
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“Osiris” Review: Guns, Grit, and Goofy Aliens in a No-Frills Sci-Fi Shootout
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In the niche world of military-themed low-budget action cinema, few directors are as consistent—or as gleefully single-minded—as William Kaufman. Known for his down-and-dirty aesthetic and fondness for grizzled heroes in hostile territory, Kaufman’s filmography is filled with testosterone-fueled escapades that usually involve elite soldiers, shadowy foes, and an endless barrage of bullets. Osiris, his latest foray into genre territory, doesn’t just stay in his lane—it charges full-throttle down it, draped in camo and laser blasts.

But this time, Kaufman trades in the war-torn deserts of Earth for the cold, dimly-lit corridors of an alien spaceship. Osiris is a full-blown sci-fi siege thriller, and while it may not break any narrative ground or win points for originality, it knows its audience and delivers exactly what they came for: unapologetically pulpy action, practical effects over CG overload, and a cast of square-jawed actors grunting their way through one laser-scorched corridor after another.

Welcome to Kaufman Country: Guns, Grit, and Grindhouse Vibes

Kaufman has carved a career out of producing high-octane, straight-to-video-style films that honor the aesthetics of 80s and 90s action cinema. Think The Marine 4: Moving Target or Warhorse One—titles you’d expect to see on a Redbox shelf or playing on late-night cable. With Osiris, he moves into science fiction territory, crafting a love letter to the classic genre hybrids like Aliens and Predator. It’s a bold move for a filmmaker of his budgetary constraints, but one that yields unexpectedly entertaining results.

Don’t expect polished Marvel-level visuals or epic world-building. This is a lean, mean B-movie machine, operating on the fumes of genre affection and muscle memory. The set design might look like leftover props from Stargate SG-1, but the energy is unmistakably Kaufman’s—fast, frenzied, and, at times, delightfully absurd.

Setting the Scene: From Uzbekistan to UFOs

Osiris opens with two relatively inconsequential prologues. First, viewers are given a short, pseudo-historical detour into the story of NASA’s Voyager 1 space probe. In a dramatically voiced montage, we learn how the probe, launched in the 1970s to explore the outer reaches of the solar system, eventually exited our galactic neighborhood in 2012. Cue ominous foreshadowing and vague cosmic intrigue.

The second opener, though, delivers the film’s first real punch: a sharply executed action sequence set in Uzbekistan. Here, we meet Kelly (played by producer-actor Max Martini), a no-nonsense Marine who finds himself ambushed alongside his squad by masked insurgents. The bullets fly, the explosions roar, and Kaufman wastes no time in flexing his action chops. It’s a sequence worthy of a much bigger movie, and it sets a surprisingly high bar for what follows.

Things take a weird turn once the smoke clears. Kelly and his fellow commandos black out—only to wake up somewhere entirely unfamiliar. They’re no longer in the desert. They’re inside what looks suspiciously like a spaceship, surrounded by flashing lights, howling sounds, and the stench of danger.

Meet the Monsters: Venom Meets Nemesis

Once the Marines regain consciousness, they discover they’ve been abducted by aliens—and not the curious, peace-loving kind. These extraterrestrials are hulking beasts with grotesque features: flaring nostrils, massive teeth, and no visible eyes. Their weapons are as savage as their appearance—giant laser guns paired with energy shields—and they seem to enjoy torturing their human captives. Case in point: skinned corpses hang like grim decorations from the ship’s ceilings.

It’s here that Kaufman starts channeling his inner James Cameron. The vibe is unmistakably inspired by Aliens, with tight corridors, minimal lighting, and constant threats around every corner. But instead of Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley, we get Kelly and his squad, stumbling through the darkness, trying to piece together their escape plan.

Along the way, they encounter Ravi (Brianna Hildebrand), another abductee who has managed to survive by using her brains instead of brute force. She quickly becomes the squad’s makeshift guide, helping them navigate the alien maze. Although the chemistry between Ravi and Kelly doesn’t quite spark the way it should, Hildebrand brings much-needed dynamism to the otherwise testosterone-heavy cast.

The Linda Hamilton Factor: Fan Service in Moderation

For longtime action fans, there’s a nostalgic treat waiting in the form of Linda Hamilton. The Terminator legend pops up in a small role that’s clearly been designed for maximum fan-service impact. Her appearances are brief, but strategic; she lends Osiris a strange legitimacy, even if her scenes feel like they were shot separately and inserted later. That said, her inclusion in the marketing materials is smart—it draws attention to the film while subtly warning audiences not to expect anything too slick or polished.

Hamilton’s scenes, like much of Osiris, are less about narrative necessity and more about tone. Kaufman wants you to know exactly what kind of movie this is: one steeped in love for the action and sci-fi flicks of yesteryear. The film’s structure is familiar, the plot beats predictable, and the dialogue often leans into cliché—but that’s part of the appeal.

Dialogue from the Discount Bin

If there’s one area where Osiris stumbles consistently, it’s in its dialogue. The script is littered with corny one-liners, flat exposition, and groan-worthy attempts at humor. One character speculates that the aliens aren’t from outer space at all but are demons, only to be met with a snarky reply about inbreeding. Another scene includes a zinger that name-drops Dolly Parton for no apparent reason. These lines don’t land; instead, they feel like leftovers from a discarded Call of Duty screenplay.

To be fair, no one watches a William Kaufman movie expecting Shakespeare. But the tonal inconsistency of the dialogue undermines the tension that the action scenes work so hard to build. What should be gritty and intense often turns unintentionally campy.

Action Speaks Louder Than Words

Fortunately, Kaufman’s strength lies in physical storytelling. His direction during action scenes is confident and kinetic, using practical stunts and clever camera work to elevate even the most budget-constrained battles. The opening gunfight in Uzbekistan remains the film’s most effective sequence, but the climactic showdown aboard the alien ship is also a standout, filled with frenetic energy and satisfying beats.

What makes Kaufman’s work stand out in the DTV (direct-to-video) action space is his ability to choreograph clean, readable, and inventive fight scenes. While many filmmakers in the genre settle for shaky-cam and digital mayhem, Kaufman opts for clarity and physicality. That attention to detail makes Osiris feel, at its best, like a throwback to a better era of genre filmmaking—even if the movie as a whole doesn’t always meet that standard.

Monsters With Makeup and Mettle

The aliens themselves—created by the ever-prolific Todd Masters, best known for his work on Final Destination: Bloodlines—are a practical effects delight. Sure, they may look a little goofy, like a hybrid between Marvel’s Venom and Resident Evil’s Nemesis on steroids, but there’s charm in their design. They’re clearly the stars of the show, lumbering around the ship like apex predators looking for a fight. Kaufman treats them with respect, using smart lighting and quick cuts to hide any budgetary limitations.

These creatures aren’t just cannon fodder; they’re persistent threats that ratchet up the tension. While the movie never reaches Alien-level horror, there’s an ever-present sense of dread that helps keep things moving, especially when the dialogue falters.

Familiar Terrain, Fresh Energy

There’s a strange comfort in watching Osiris. You’ve seen this movie before, probably many times. Soldiers are dropped into a hellish unknown. They fight, they die, they crack wise, and a few live to tell the tale. The tropes are all here, from the gruff team leader with a hidden heart of gold to the final stand against impossible odds.

And yet, it works. Osiris doesn’t need to surprise you—it just needs to keep you entertained. The fact that it does so with consistency, and occasionally flair, is a testament to Kaufman’s experience and passion for the genre.

Verdict: A Solid, If Uneven, Sci-Fi Throwback

At the end of the day, Osiris is exactly what it promises to be: a scrappy, heartfelt, occasionally clunky homage to the action-sci-fi hybrids of the 1980s and 1990s. It’s riddled with clichés, hampered by weak dialogue, and not especially original—but it’s also energetic, sincerely crafted, and fun in the way that only a true B-movie can be.

For fans of the genre—those who grew up on VHS copies of Starship Troopers, Doom, and Event Horizon—this movie is a warm, albeit slightly cheesy, welcome home. You won’t be blown away, but you won’t be bored either. And in the current landscape of overproduced, algorithm-driven action fare, that’s no small feat.

So yes, Osiris may be flawed, but it knows what it is and embraces it fully. If you’re looking for nuance or depth, look elsewhere. But if you want a solid Friday-night creature feature with Marines, monsters, and mayhem, then Kaufman’s got your six.

Tags: action movie review 2025alien combat scenesalien invasion movieAliens tribute filmB-movie sci-fiBrianna Hildebrand Osiriscult sci-fi moviedirect-to-video actionextraterrestrial horror filmindie action cinemaKaufman sci-fi thrillerlaser gun action movieLinda Hamilton Osirislow-budget sci-fiMax Martini Osirismilitary sci-fi thrillerOsiris 2025 filmOsiris alien designOsiris film analysisOsiris film castOsiris monster effectsOsiris movie reviewpractical effects sci-fiPredator homagesci-fi action filmspace horror moviespecial forces vs aliensStargate-style movieTodd Masters special effectsWilliam Kaufman director
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